When I moved down to Florida almost four years ago, I initially lived with an amazing couple, Jorge and Marie, on Miami Beach. From there, I found a couple of dope roommates, Mark and Tony, and Tony’s black lab, Sally.
After a few months with the most amazing 30-somethings in South Florida, I moved out on my own, but I wasn’t really on my own. When I lived alone for the first time, I had an amazing neighbor-friend, Greer.
Though I was on my own, in my independent living space, Greer was apartment 5 and I was 6. We spent a great deal of time together and counted on each other when we had amazing days and tough ones. Not only were we each other’s emotional support, we jogged together in the morning, shared meals, hung out on the weekend, and exchanged advice about love and life.
From there, I became an organizer for the 2016 election year. The commute from Broward County to Palm Beach County proved to be difficult. Us Floridians know, I-95 is unpredictable, so a 30-minute commute can easily become an hour and in some rare cases, two. Because of the highway’s unreliability, I found supporter housing with Jim and Lorrie, who I spent two years with. Read about how Lorrie, Jim, and I connected here: https://delraynewspaper.com/5-questions-flose-boursiquot-24056!
After two years living with Lorrie, Jim, and all the pets pictured, I decided to venture out on my own again!
When it came time to settle in my apartment, I knew it would be important to cure loneliness before it set on. Don’t get me wrong, I sometimes need to isolate myself, I can isolate in a room full of people — I climb in my head and stay there until I’ve worked out whatever it is that requires isolation, but I love being around people. My friend, Danielle, and I recently talked about where we get our energy; I derive much of mine from positive interactions with other human beings.
Living alone is the opposite of interacting with human beings, so what could I do to not feel so far away from life forms.
First, I got a cat! Sasha. She’s the sweetest, most mischievous creature on the planet. I love that she has gotten use to my alarm clock in the morning and gets in my face until I wake up to feed her. Sometimes, she even gets all up in my face before my alarm and causes trouble. I’d like to think that we share a mutual bond. She purrs and meows when I get home and sits on my lap for pets whenever she feels like it. The bottom line, I’ll always have a pal in Sasha.
Lastly, I have started planting herbs in my apartment. Not only has having my personal herb garden scattered around my apartment been a slight dollar saver, it’s also helped liven up the place. Plants, much like a kitty cat, help foster a routine — if I don’t water the suckers and show them love then they die. You don’t want your plants to die, do you, DO YAHHHH!
Fern — great for keeping air clean
Lemon Herb & Catnip
Angel — great for keeping air clean
Don’t be afraid to take the living-alone-leap, when you’re ready, it won’t be so bad if you anticipate loneliness and find ways to cure it before it sets on. That’s not to say there won’t be days when you do get lonely, but those days won’t become routine.
I often hear that question from excited faces
who have just learned of the massacring of an entire country.
They point out something Obama said about regret in an article — they shake their heads wanting me to acknowledge that they now realize he is not perfect.
They reference an HBO documentary — because that makes it real.
It’s really depressing stuff, is what they’ll usually follow the question
with then unveil their expertise.
Syria is not a fad.
It’s not a topic for you to pick up like a handbag as you leave
the Nordstrom store, show off to your friends for weeks on end, then leave off with your pile of to-go’s in two months.
Sexual assault is a pervasive beast that plagues many lives. Last night, I was privileged with the opportunity to sit on a Sexual Assault Awareness panel with three amazing women (Alex Heathcock, Julie Diehl Weil, and Commissioner Paula Ryan) who, like me, have had many Me Too moments in their lives. My sexual trauma began when I was about 5/6 years old. People who my parents trusted to take care of their children, abused their power. I later, in college, encountered an aggressive man who would not take no for an answer and began to kiss me in a hallway. Thankfully, there were friends around and I avoided what could have led to rape. My four years experiencing trauma as a child did not end with rape being avoided, and I unfortunately did not know how to communicate what was happening to my parents. It has taken me years to heal, and I still deal with anxiety (social & panic disorder), depression, and self worth. Sexual trauma is not the fault of the children involved or their parents. However, there are some ways we can move toward a culture where sexual education and social norms do not repress those conversations. It is important for parents with young children to talk to them about their body parts and to create a system of trust. It is important that we maintain sexual education in the public school system and teach young adults how to engage with each other sexually. And it is imperative that we maintain a sex positive culture and that we do not encourage women/girls to play a hard to get card while we encourage men/boys to be on the prowl. I’d like to recognize that though sexual trauma affects girls & women by in large, young boys & men also fall victim. Junot Díaz’s essay was heartbreaking but a necessary part of the conversation. Sexual assault is a pervasive beast, but together we can work to put an end to it for every single human being, because no one deserves to live their life in the shadow of sexual assault. Lastly, it’s important to have conversations like this with compassion, but have them without pity. Those of us who have to say Me Too, as Junot Diaz outlines in his essay, sometimes feel romantically and sexually isolated — we don’t fit in society’s norms for what it means to be a woman or man or lover or fill-in-blank. Many of us struggle to have healthy romantic relationships. Don’t clump us into a box with walls of pity. Approach us with honest, open conversation, and if you seek any sort of relationship, be open to difficult conversation.
**Major thanks to the Palm Beach County Young Democrats for hosting the panel, and many thanks to Tarana Burke for using her voice consistently until we were heard.**
I’m about to be all y’all’s #WCW when I hit the runway in a Caribbean inspired outfit for the A Proper Affair event next Wednesday night at 6:30! 💃🏽 Beyond Proper by Boston Proper is partnering with Current Celebrity News & Dream Vacations to host the Tenth Annual Proper Affair to support the Achievement Centers for Children & Families which benefits low-income families in the #community.